True Independence

A new year has begun and I'm not one for resolutions but I do believe in new beginnings, new ways of thinking and new ways of doing things. Last year was a very eventful year for me, I've learned sooooooooo much about myself, about friends, relationships and life in general, especially in the last quarter of the year.

On employment...
In September 2009 I lost my job due to discrimination just as I started (or rather as a result of) my Masters degree programme. Most people expected me to fall because to many, job security means everything! But for me, that disappointment led to a better opportunity, a reason to change, a need for creative thinking, a need to be self sufficient and the accomplishment of TRUE INDEPENDENCE. The typical definition of independence is that you have a secure, well paying job and can comfortably pay bills while still having some left to save and "palance." However, my experience has taught me that true independence is only achieved when you can stand on your feet in the absence of that paid employer. How many of us can truly say that we can live the lives we live if our job was taken from us today? I am not at all bashing being employed by any company I am just saying that we are dependent on our employers for that wage, salary or commission even if we are financially INDEPENDENT from our parents or partners.

I would suggest to everyone who has breath to save, invest, start a business, buy property...do something in 2010. Develop your independence, start small. Use your natural talents and aspirations as a guide to find the most suitable avenue for you.

On relationships...
I've learned that self confidence is a key ingredient to successful relationships. After years of unsuccessful relationships I started to feel as though I was falling short in some way, I felt as though I was not "good enough" and that was why things didn't work out...I always blamed myself. It was only after one simple conversation with God that I realised that I was dependent on a partner to make me feel as though I had worth or was special and that was the core reason for failure of relationships. Some of you maybe reading this and thinking I'm not like that, but maybe if you look a bit deeper you'll realise that you are like that to some extent. I didn't even realise I was like that until very late last year. No one should have the power to make you feel as though you're special, you should feel special BEFORE you enter a relationship. This way you have more to add to the union. If you cannot love yourself how can you truly love another? See yourself as a whole, love your self holistically, be confident, be truly independent. Know that you are worth more and you will not settle for mediocre.


On friendships...
Your best friends are those who will be there even when you ask them to leave. They'll forgive you and they'll never forget you. I've learned that your true friends don't just call when they have a problem or want something, sometimes they just call to say hey! I also learned that some people who you "thought" you didn't like, turn out to be some of the nicest people you know...cherish them. Get to know people first before deciding whether or not they're "friend material," don't assume. Do not judge anyone based on the experience of someone else. Be a friend and know your friends.

All the best in 2010 and beyond

Pensecrets